Cheyenne C
Closets
In any bedroom I sleep in, the closet is my biggest fear. Ever since my friend hung herself in her closet, all closets haunt me. For months I would not sleep in a room with any other rooms with doors in it. I would only sleep in the living room because I would see my friends face in the closet.In my own bedroom, I completely removed the doors. They sit in my garage now. And I refuse to put them back on, even though my parents want them back. I feel as if anyone could hide with the doors on. I will not help someone kidnap me. With no doors I can assure myself there are no uninvited guests with me. When I am at someone elses house, I sleep as far from the closet as possible. Before I can lay down, I have to check the closet. It is the only way I can get a decent rest. And even then, the doors cannot be open even a millimeter. I am always afraid I will see another body in there. And that would just be absolutely horrifying.
Hey there new Cook!
Welcome to your new job. This is where you will learn the most important tips of your new career. These tips are for your benefit to a more exciting job.
1. There is no need for clean hands. The food will not change if you use your hands after using the restroom. One or two people might get sick, but that is okay you are building their immune system.
2. Dirty utensils work best. People do not mind if their food touches other food that was cooked. They might be allergic to something, no worries they should have told you ahead of time.
3. Burnt food is wonderful! Nobody likes food cooked to perfection. They like it burnt, charred, and crispy.
4. Recipes do not need to be followed. People just wrote them. That means you can make your own also. Throw anything into the pot and hope it comes out delicious.
5. Sanitization is horrible. People are meant to get sick. Germs are supposed to be spread. So do your best to help them transfer everywhere. Give the food a good hefty cough as you set the plate in front of the guest.
6. Do not make enough food. Some people could skip a meal. So do not worry if there is not enough.
7. Food can be served moldy. It is just a little bacteria. What is the worst that could possibly happen, right? Plus, it adds some character to the food.
8. Serve the food at the wrong temperature. The food can most definitely be served hot if it is supposed to be served cold. And vice versa. People do not want it served correctly anyways.
9. Sneeze in the food! Everybody in the world like a little snot on top of there food. Give them some extra protein.
10. Let your hair loose. Shake your hair around. Brush it over the food. Take the globs out in the middle of the kitchen. All people have it so they do not mind eating it.
Welcome to your new job. This is where you will learn the most important tips of your new career. These tips are for your benefit to a more exciting job.
1. There is no need for clean hands. The food will not change if you use your hands after using the restroom. One or two people might get sick, but that is okay you are building their immune system.
2. Dirty utensils work best. People do not mind if their food touches other food that was cooked. They might be allergic to something, no worries they should have told you ahead of time.
3. Burnt food is wonderful! Nobody likes food cooked to perfection. They like it burnt, charred, and crispy.
4. Recipes do not need to be followed. People just wrote them. That means you can make your own also. Throw anything into the pot and hope it comes out delicious.
5. Sanitization is horrible. People are meant to get sick. Germs are supposed to be spread. So do your best to help them transfer everywhere. Give the food a good hefty cough as you set the plate in front of the guest.
6. Do not make enough food. Some people could skip a meal. So do not worry if there is not enough.
7. Food can be served moldy. It is just a little bacteria. What is the worst that could possibly happen, right? Plus, it adds some character to the food.
8. Serve the food at the wrong temperature. The food can most definitely be served hot if it is supposed to be served cold. And vice versa. People do not want it served correctly anyways.
9. Sneeze in the food! Everybody in the world like a little snot on top of there food. Give them some extra protein.
10. Let your hair loose. Shake your hair around. Brush it over the food. Take the globs out in the middle of the kitchen. All people have it so they do not mind eating it.