Mason R
Congrats, newly minted hockey player. These steps will help you become the worst hockey player in the league. If you follow these steps, you’ll be sure to get kicked off of your team as fast as possible! You also might even get kicked out of your league!
1) Always pick fights with the biggest and baddest players. This will sure have you beaten up in no time. Make sure to not pay any attention to who you’re fighting before you fight them, because it doesn’t really matter if you get a concussion.
2) Whenever a referee makes a call, be sure to argue with him/her as much as possible. Insult the ref’s mother, father, husband/wife, and kids if you get the chance.
3) If the referee makes another bad call, take it to the physical edge. Try to punch him/her a couple times, maybe even throw in a good kick or two. It’ll make your coach mad, but it’ll get you the revenge you’ve always wanted.
4) Don’t ever listen to the coach. If he tells you to come off the ice, stay on. If he tells you to stay on, come off. Be sure to get physical with him too, because we all know that the player is more important than the coach.
5) Never pass at all. Act like your teammates aren’t there. I mean, you shouldn’t be dependant on your team, right? If your teammate gets it, hit him with a good body check and take the puck.
6) Take of your gear if you get bored. I mean, it’s probably getting dirty, so you should take it off to use in other means. The skates make a nice weapon sometimes. So does the helmet.
7) Never practice. What YOU want to do is more important. Enjoy laughing at your team as they are tired, sweaty, and bored while you are at your house playing video games.
8) Cheat as much as possible. Take weapons, such as small, concealed knives. Have a duplicate puck on the ready, and bring unfair advantages such as a longer hockey stick.
9) Be nice to the other team’s goalie. Gently hand him the puck when you are shooting.You want to shoot as light as possible, to be nice. You don’t want to hurt him at all, or make him feel bad, so you should be polite when handing him the puck.
10) Shoot on both goals. Hey, if it’s a goal, it’s a goal. Shoot on any goal you’d like, because a goal is a goal, no matter who you shoot on. If you shoot on your own goalie, no worry. You can still celebrate!
1) Always pick fights with the biggest and baddest players. This will sure have you beaten up in no time. Make sure to not pay any attention to who you’re fighting before you fight them, because it doesn’t really matter if you get a concussion.
2) Whenever a referee makes a call, be sure to argue with him/her as much as possible. Insult the ref’s mother, father, husband/wife, and kids if you get the chance.
3) If the referee makes another bad call, take it to the physical edge. Try to punch him/her a couple times, maybe even throw in a good kick or two. It’ll make your coach mad, but it’ll get you the revenge you’ve always wanted.
4) Don’t ever listen to the coach. If he tells you to come off the ice, stay on. If he tells you to stay on, come off. Be sure to get physical with him too, because we all know that the player is more important than the coach.
5) Never pass at all. Act like your teammates aren’t there. I mean, you shouldn’t be dependant on your team, right? If your teammate gets it, hit him with a good body check and take the puck.
6) Take of your gear if you get bored. I mean, it’s probably getting dirty, so you should take it off to use in other means. The skates make a nice weapon sometimes. So does the helmet.
7) Never practice. What YOU want to do is more important. Enjoy laughing at your team as they are tired, sweaty, and bored while you are at your house playing video games.
8) Cheat as much as possible. Take weapons, such as small, concealed knives. Have a duplicate puck on the ready, and bring unfair advantages such as a longer hockey stick.
9) Be nice to the other team’s goalie. Gently hand him the puck when you are shooting.You want to shoot as light as possible, to be nice. You don’t want to hurt him at all, or make him feel bad, so you should be polite when handing him the puck.
10) Shoot on both goals. Hey, if it’s a goal, it’s a goal. Shoot on any goal you’d like, because a goal is a goal, no matter who you shoot on. If you shoot on your own goalie, no worry. You can still celebrate!
Encyclopedia of My Ordinary Life
Apple
The company Apple has changed my life. From developing my headphones to designing my Iphone, they make the best technology around the world. Apple has influenced the world with the amazing technology they have created. Without Apple, most of the technology I have today wouldn’t have been created. Even though I prefer PCs to Macs, Apple is still awesome because they make Ipods and Iphones.
Bacon
Bacon is a great food. I like to eat it, but in a different way than most people. I prefer to eat soft, tender bacon than the usual crispy crunchy bacon that most people like. Bacon is one of my favorite breakfast foods, but it just takes a long time to make. But, whether it’s soft or hard, bacon is still one of my favorite foods, and it also goes with some of my favorite foods.
Cats
I love cats. Since I have been born, I have had three. I had a black cat named Jake when I was little. He would usually run and hide, because the only person he really liked was my mom. He also caught a bird one time when my mom was away. It was pretty awesome. However, after he died, we got two new cats named Snowball and Comet, who liked me a lot more. Cats are awesome.
Detention
Detention is a scary place. It makes you want to not get in trouble again. The worst part of it is telling your parents. Then they think of some punishment and get you in more trouble. You’d think the detention would be the punishment, but no, they have to come up with something worse. In a way, detention has helped me to try to not get in trouble as much.
Eminem
Eminem is my favorite rapper. I first heard one of his songs when I was ten. The first song I heard of his is “Not Afraid.” Ever since then, I have liked his songs. His childhood has inspired me to be grateful for the things that I have, and I shouldn’t complain when I have to do a simple chore like mowing the lawn.
Family
My family is important to me. Without them, I would not be who I am today. In fact, I wouldn’t even be alive if it hadn’t been for them. They created and shaped me into who I am today. I owe them everything, because my family is responsible for my existence, so I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for them. So, I kind of owe them everything.
Gaming
Playing video games is my favorite hobby. I think they are fun. I mean, they are like reading in a way. You can do or be whatever you want. Whether you want to be a soldier, or you want to have a pet dog, gaming is the answer. Gaming is even better than reading. When you are reading, you can’t make friends. But, when you are gaming, you can. Gaming is the answer to everything.
Hockey
In a way, hockey has changed my life. I know lots of people who play hockey, even though there isn’t that much hockey in California. My two cousins, Nick and Chase, played hockey, so I wanted to play also. Doing that was a great idea, and now my brother and one of my younger cousins plays as well. Hockey has shaped my life and made be a much better person. I also like to watch hockey. My favorite NHL team is the Sharks. They are really cool, but have never won the championship. I hope someday they win it.
iPhone
My iPhone is awesome. It can do lots more than a phone could do ten years ago, and it is also a lot smaller. If I ever get lost, my iPhone can save me. It is also very entertaining. For example, if I ever get bored at a store, I can just whip out my iPhone and start playing games. If I ever get lost in a big mall, never fear, I have my iPhone! An iPhone can save people in ways that you wouldn’t think of.
Jake
I have known many jakes in my life, so the name “Jake” is important in my life. One of my good friends is named Jacob, or Jake. I’ve had another friend who moved so he could get better military training, and his name was also “Jake”. My first cat was named “Jake.” I also used to have another kid in my class named “Jake”, and he was kinda my friend. I have known lots of Jakes in my life.
Karate
Karate inspired Tae Kwon Do, which is the Korean form of karate. Tae Kwon Do is important to me, because it helped me get active, and not get fat. It was fun for a while, but then it got boring. I quit when I was a blue blue belt. Without Tae Kwon Do, I would be even less flexible, and I am already one of the least flexible in my class. I fail the flexibility tests for PE every year, and it stinks to not able to touch my toes.
Lemon-Lime Soda
Without Lemon-Lime flavored sodas, the world would not be a good place. If I ever have a choice, I drink Sprite, Sierra Mist, or whatever other lemon-lime soda. I prefer to have Sprite, but any lemon-lime soda is good. Even though some soda companies copy others, they are all still very good. I for some reason prefer sodas in a glass bottle. It seems to make it taste better, for some odd reason I can’t think of.
Money
I love money. Without money, the world would just be a lot of people trading. With money, you can actually buy things with little pieces of paper. Money has saved lots of lives. Money can end wars, encourage trading, and do a lot more. Having money lets you choose what you want to buy, and since everyone wants it, money is always in demand.
NikeStore
The company Nike makes the best sports gear and shoes. Even though it’s expensive, Nike makes very comfortable stuff, and it looks cool too. Lots of people like to wear Nike, me included. They make things that help you in sports. Nike has changed the sports industry with their awesome stuff. Yeah, so basically, Nike is my favorite brand of shoes and they are cool but expensive.
Oak Park
In Stockton, there is a park named Oak Park. They have a ice rink there. I first learned how to skate at play hockey there, so it is important to me. I took lessons there until I was good enough to join the Stockton Colts, which is the junior ice hockey team that plays there. Both seasons our team did bad, but it helped me prepare for roller hockey. When I entered ice hockey, I was the worst on the team. But, because of ice hockey, when I entered roller hockey I was a pretty decent player, and became to be one of the best players in the league. I was number five (stats-wise) in the league on my second season, when we finished the season 10-1, and went on to win the championships.
Pickles
I hate pickles. They are absolutely disgusting in every way imaginable. If you line up the things that I hate most, pickles would be right on top. Not only do they taste bad, but they look disgusting. They are green, slimy, drippy pieces of hatred. Whoever created pickles must have hated the world a lot. Pickles smell really gross too. Pickles make the world worse. every day they exist. I hope to remove pickles from the world.
Quarters
Quarters are cool to look at. They are fun to find, because of their value. Some people collect them, and they are cool to look at. Most of them are different, so that makes it even more fun. Quarters are unique to their state, most of the time. We used to have this thing where we would try to collect a quarter from every state. Quarters are cool because they are worth something, and they look cool.
Ripon Powerplay Arena
The Ripon PowerPlay Arena is very important. I love playing roller hockey there. When I was playing ice hockey, we had to drive all the way to Stockton. Now, all we have to do is make a five minute drive to the rink. Not only I play, but my siblings do too. My brother, Hunter, has played for a year and a half, and my sister has played a quarter of a year. I have played for about two years there. The Ripon Powerplay Arena brings joy to my entire family.
SJ Sharks
I play a lot of hockey, and I watch a lot of hockey. My favorite team in the national hockey league is the San Jose Sharks. They are a good team, most of the time. The Shark’s colors are teal, black, and orange. Most of my family also likes the Sharks. My cousins in Arizona like the Sharks even more than their home team, which is the Phoenix Coyotes. The Sharks always make it into the playoffs, but they have never won. My favorite players are Patrick Marleau and Logan Couture. They are both two of the Shark’s best players and veterans.
Television
One of the most important things in the world right now is television.The average American spends more than thirty-four hours a week watching television. TV provides entertainment for most. But, television also helps spread news of disasters, or any other important thing you might need to know about. In addition, some game consoles you can hook up to your TV, so you can play video games on it! Some consoles like this include the Wii and the Xbox. TV provides entertainment, and it also allows for you to hear about the latest events.
Universe
Without the universe, nothing would exist. I wouldn’t be here, Google Chrome wouldn’t be here. Nothing would be here. My mom wouldn’t be here, my dad wouldn’t be here, my brother wouldn’t be here, my sister wouldn’t be here, my cousins wouldn’t be here, my aunts wouldn’t be here, my uncles wouldn’t be here, my grandmas wouldn’t be here, and my grandpa wouldn’t be here. Basically, the universe is important.
Vacations
Some of my most favorite times in my life are when I am on vacations with my family. Vacations are very important to me. Vacations are fun and yet relaxing at the same time. You get to sit back, relax, drink soda, eat candy, and have fun all at the same time. We usually go somewhere warm for vacation, so we swim a lot. Even if it’s cold, if there’s a pool, we usually end up swimming one way or another. We also end up in the spa if the pool is very cold. But, like I said, most of the vacation spots we go to are warm.
Water
One of the things a human needs to survive is water. Without water, I’d be dead. Actually, I wouldn’t have even been born, because my parents would be dead. But wait, they wouldn’t even be born because my grandparents would be dead. Again, they wouldn’t even be born, because Adam and Eve(if that is what you believe in) would be dead. Basically, we would all be dead. Being dead wouldn’t be fun.
Xrays
Without getting X-rays, the doctor wouldn’t be able to tell me whether I would be okay or not. That would bad, because he’d have to take his best guess. Most of the time, he’d probably say I’d have to do something that would either help too much, or not be enough. For example, when I broke my wrist, we didn’t have it x-rayed, so my mom just waited it out. Four days later, we found out my wrist was broken.
Yard
I’m glad to have a backyard and frontyard. I like to play in them. Usually, after dinner, I go into my backyard to swing a little bit. We also have a pool in the backyard, making it awesome for when it’s hot. We have a playground with a slide, a tiny rock wall, three swings, and an upper-story. The backyard is fun to play in, and it’s entertainment by itself. We also have a hammock that is fun to lay and read on. In the front yard, we have hockey nets we can set up and play a game of street hockey with some friends.
Zoo
When I was little, going to the zoo was really fun. We’d get to see all the different types of animals and learn about them. Plus, they usually have good food at zoos. Not only good foods, but good drinks too. A good drink is very refreshing when you have been walking for the past hour and it is very hot outside. I’ve been to lots of zoos, and it is fun seeing the different types of animals all in one place.
The company Apple has changed my life. From developing my headphones to designing my Iphone, they make the best technology around the world. Apple has influenced the world with the amazing technology they have created. Without Apple, most of the technology I have today wouldn’t have been created. Even though I prefer PCs to Macs, Apple is still awesome because they make Ipods and Iphones.
Bacon
Bacon is a great food. I like to eat it, but in a different way than most people. I prefer to eat soft, tender bacon than the usual crispy crunchy bacon that most people like. Bacon is one of my favorite breakfast foods, but it just takes a long time to make. But, whether it’s soft or hard, bacon is still one of my favorite foods, and it also goes with some of my favorite foods.
Cats
I love cats. Since I have been born, I have had three. I had a black cat named Jake when I was little. He would usually run and hide, because the only person he really liked was my mom. He also caught a bird one time when my mom was away. It was pretty awesome. However, after he died, we got two new cats named Snowball and Comet, who liked me a lot more. Cats are awesome.
Detention
Detention is a scary place. It makes you want to not get in trouble again. The worst part of it is telling your parents. Then they think of some punishment and get you in more trouble. You’d think the detention would be the punishment, but no, they have to come up with something worse. In a way, detention has helped me to try to not get in trouble as much.
Eminem
Eminem is my favorite rapper. I first heard one of his songs when I was ten. The first song I heard of his is “Not Afraid.” Ever since then, I have liked his songs. His childhood has inspired me to be grateful for the things that I have, and I shouldn’t complain when I have to do a simple chore like mowing the lawn.
Family
My family is important to me. Without them, I would not be who I am today. In fact, I wouldn’t even be alive if it hadn’t been for them. They created and shaped me into who I am today. I owe them everything, because my family is responsible for my existence, so I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for them. So, I kind of owe them everything.
Gaming
Playing video games is my favorite hobby. I think they are fun. I mean, they are like reading in a way. You can do or be whatever you want. Whether you want to be a soldier, or you want to have a pet dog, gaming is the answer. Gaming is even better than reading. When you are reading, you can’t make friends. But, when you are gaming, you can. Gaming is the answer to everything.
Hockey
In a way, hockey has changed my life. I know lots of people who play hockey, even though there isn’t that much hockey in California. My two cousins, Nick and Chase, played hockey, so I wanted to play also. Doing that was a great idea, and now my brother and one of my younger cousins plays as well. Hockey has shaped my life and made be a much better person. I also like to watch hockey. My favorite NHL team is the Sharks. They are really cool, but have never won the championship. I hope someday they win it.
iPhone
My iPhone is awesome. It can do lots more than a phone could do ten years ago, and it is also a lot smaller. If I ever get lost, my iPhone can save me. It is also very entertaining. For example, if I ever get bored at a store, I can just whip out my iPhone and start playing games. If I ever get lost in a big mall, never fear, I have my iPhone! An iPhone can save people in ways that you wouldn’t think of.
Jake
I have known many jakes in my life, so the name “Jake” is important in my life. One of my good friends is named Jacob, or Jake. I’ve had another friend who moved so he could get better military training, and his name was also “Jake”. My first cat was named “Jake.” I also used to have another kid in my class named “Jake”, and he was kinda my friend. I have known lots of Jakes in my life.
Karate
Karate inspired Tae Kwon Do, which is the Korean form of karate. Tae Kwon Do is important to me, because it helped me get active, and not get fat. It was fun for a while, but then it got boring. I quit when I was a blue blue belt. Without Tae Kwon Do, I would be even less flexible, and I am already one of the least flexible in my class. I fail the flexibility tests for PE every year, and it stinks to not able to touch my toes.
Lemon-Lime Soda
Without Lemon-Lime flavored sodas, the world would not be a good place. If I ever have a choice, I drink Sprite, Sierra Mist, or whatever other lemon-lime soda. I prefer to have Sprite, but any lemon-lime soda is good. Even though some soda companies copy others, they are all still very good. I for some reason prefer sodas in a glass bottle. It seems to make it taste better, for some odd reason I can’t think of.
Money
I love money. Without money, the world would just be a lot of people trading. With money, you can actually buy things with little pieces of paper. Money has saved lots of lives. Money can end wars, encourage trading, and do a lot more. Having money lets you choose what you want to buy, and since everyone wants it, money is always in demand.
NikeStore
The company Nike makes the best sports gear and shoes. Even though it’s expensive, Nike makes very comfortable stuff, and it looks cool too. Lots of people like to wear Nike, me included. They make things that help you in sports. Nike has changed the sports industry with their awesome stuff. Yeah, so basically, Nike is my favorite brand of shoes and they are cool but expensive.
Oak Park
In Stockton, there is a park named Oak Park. They have a ice rink there. I first learned how to skate at play hockey there, so it is important to me. I took lessons there until I was good enough to join the Stockton Colts, which is the junior ice hockey team that plays there. Both seasons our team did bad, but it helped me prepare for roller hockey. When I entered ice hockey, I was the worst on the team. But, because of ice hockey, when I entered roller hockey I was a pretty decent player, and became to be one of the best players in the league. I was number five (stats-wise) in the league on my second season, when we finished the season 10-1, and went on to win the championships.
Pickles
I hate pickles. They are absolutely disgusting in every way imaginable. If you line up the things that I hate most, pickles would be right on top. Not only do they taste bad, but they look disgusting. They are green, slimy, drippy pieces of hatred. Whoever created pickles must have hated the world a lot. Pickles smell really gross too. Pickles make the world worse. every day they exist. I hope to remove pickles from the world.
Quarters
Quarters are cool to look at. They are fun to find, because of their value. Some people collect them, and they are cool to look at. Most of them are different, so that makes it even more fun. Quarters are unique to their state, most of the time. We used to have this thing where we would try to collect a quarter from every state. Quarters are cool because they are worth something, and they look cool.
Ripon Powerplay Arena
The Ripon PowerPlay Arena is very important. I love playing roller hockey there. When I was playing ice hockey, we had to drive all the way to Stockton. Now, all we have to do is make a five minute drive to the rink. Not only I play, but my siblings do too. My brother, Hunter, has played for a year and a half, and my sister has played a quarter of a year. I have played for about two years there. The Ripon Powerplay Arena brings joy to my entire family.
SJ Sharks
I play a lot of hockey, and I watch a lot of hockey. My favorite team in the national hockey league is the San Jose Sharks. They are a good team, most of the time. The Shark’s colors are teal, black, and orange. Most of my family also likes the Sharks. My cousins in Arizona like the Sharks even more than their home team, which is the Phoenix Coyotes. The Sharks always make it into the playoffs, but they have never won. My favorite players are Patrick Marleau and Logan Couture. They are both two of the Shark’s best players and veterans.
Television
One of the most important things in the world right now is television.The average American spends more than thirty-four hours a week watching television. TV provides entertainment for most. But, television also helps spread news of disasters, or any other important thing you might need to know about. In addition, some game consoles you can hook up to your TV, so you can play video games on it! Some consoles like this include the Wii and the Xbox. TV provides entertainment, and it also allows for you to hear about the latest events.
Universe
Without the universe, nothing would exist. I wouldn’t be here, Google Chrome wouldn’t be here. Nothing would be here. My mom wouldn’t be here, my dad wouldn’t be here, my brother wouldn’t be here, my sister wouldn’t be here, my cousins wouldn’t be here, my aunts wouldn’t be here, my uncles wouldn’t be here, my grandmas wouldn’t be here, and my grandpa wouldn’t be here. Basically, the universe is important.
Vacations
Some of my most favorite times in my life are when I am on vacations with my family. Vacations are very important to me. Vacations are fun and yet relaxing at the same time. You get to sit back, relax, drink soda, eat candy, and have fun all at the same time. We usually go somewhere warm for vacation, so we swim a lot. Even if it’s cold, if there’s a pool, we usually end up swimming one way or another. We also end up in the spa if the pool is very cold. But, like I said, most of the vacation spots we go to are warm.
Water
One of the things a human needs to survive is water. Without water, I’d be dead. Actually, I wouldn’t have even been born, because my parents would be dead. But wait, they wouldn’t even be born because my grandparents would be dead. Again, they wouldn’t even be born, because Adam and Eve(if that is what you believe in) would be dead. Basically, we would all be dead. Being dead wouldn’t be fun.
Xrays
Without getting X-rays, the doctor wouldn’t be able to tell me whether I would be okay or not. That would bad, because he’d have to take his best guess. Most of the time, he’d probably say I’d have to do something that would either help too much, or not be enough. For example, when I broke my wrist, we didn’t have it x-rayed, so my mom just waited it out. Four days later, we found out my wrist was broken.
Yard
I’m glad to have a backyard and frontyard. I like to play in them. Usually, after dinner, I go into my backyard to swing a little bit. We also have a pool in the backyard, making it awesome for when it’s hot. We have a playground with a slide, a tiny rock wall, three swings, and an upper-story. The backyard is fun to play in, and it’s entertainment by itself. We also have a hammock that is fun to lay and read on. In the front yard, we have hockey nets we can set up and play a game of street hockey with some friends.
Zoo
When I was little, going to the zoo was really fun. We’d get to see all the different types of animals and learn about them. Plus, they usually have good food at zoos. Not only good foods, but good drinks too. A good drink is very refreshing when you have been walking for the past hour and it is very hot outside. I’ve been to lots of zoos, and it is fun seeing the different types of animals all in one place.
McDonalds: An Experience
Out of all the foods, I’d say my childhood tasted similar to McDonald’s. Although we did not eat there often, every time we went, it was a treat. I do not like McDonald’s anymore; however, I remember liking it as a kid. I liked both the hamburgers and the chicken nuggets. The hamburger with its thin, soft patty and the spongy bun created a very tasty feeling in my mouth like no other. The combination of McDonald’s different aromas made an odd smell that lasted for years after the McDonald’s near my house moved away. But, it wasn’t just the food that made McDonald’s so great. The best part of the whole thing might have been the play structure. You would climb up in the tunnels and slide down the slide. There was also a little rope-climb thing that was a method of getting up. I probably would have been able to stay in there for an hour, if my parents weren’t telling me to come down and eat. McDonald’s didn’t just make good food, but a great experience too.